Oh FUN!!!

I'm having a blast here at the retreat!! If any of you scrapbook (or any type of craft really) and have the opportunity to go to one of these B&B retreats, DO IT!!!!! They are soooooooooooooo MUCH fun!!!!

I'm taking a break right now, but I wanted to show you a pic of one of my creations!! It's not a great picture but you get the idea! Oh, and the model is my baby, P2!

Retreat, you treat, we all treat for Retreat!!!

I'm getting the hell outta dodge this weekend!!! No kids. No husband. No worries!!! I'm going with 12 other ladies to a B&B scrapbook retreat!!!!! I'm sooooo excited!! This is the first time I will be away from my baby girl, and although I will miss her (them) terribly... This mama needs a break!!!!! So tomorrow at this time, I will be drinking margaritas and munching on gourmet food cooked by our own chef for the weekend!!!! Heaven awaits!!! :).

Just can't do it

I don't know if I told you all about the boy shorts I bought from Old Navy about a month ago and how I was going to use them as a reference tool in my weight loss? Well, yesterday I had DH take some pics of me wearing only them and a sports bra (ala Amy W).


HOLY MOTHER OF ALL THINGS FAT AND JIGGLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I recommend every fluffy chick out there take some pics of themselves in all their plumppy goodness and see how your perception of yourself changes. Well, of your physical self anyway. Talk about REAL EYE OPENER. WOWZA. However, when I was looking at it, I could visualize the smoking body that is underneath all the excess insulation!!

As much as I would love to share it all with you, I just can't do it.

I'm scared.

Embarrassed.

Ashamed.

Don't want to end up on some undesirable website with everyone making comments.

It's so permanent (in a way) to show the world (ok, not really the world) what I look like behind clothes (and closed doors). KWIM?!

I'll revisit this again when I'm post band and start shredding the pounds. That way, I can always say "Thank God I don't look like THAT anymore. This is the NEW me!!"

I hope everyone is having a great weekend. I'm off to do some grocery shopping for the week. I always wait until Sundays to do it and it's always swamped. Uggghhhh That's what I get for waiting.

Toodles my peeps!

JUNE 29th!!!!

I'm GETTING BANDED ON JUNE 29th!!!!!!!!!!!!! HOLY CRAP!!!!

Just in case anyone missed it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! JUNE 29th!!!!!

The pre-band Hell starts on June 15th, with Band University on June 14th. Good times!

I'm going to be so hungry for those two weeks. I'm really worried. If I go too long without food, I start to get all shakey and weird. Blood sugar drops, I get irritable, and I can't think straight. Uggghhhh. I'm pre-diabetic, but thankfully right now my sugars are staying in the normal-slightly elevated range. After I had P2, I misplaced my glucometer so I haven't been testing. Oh well.

Anyway, JUNE 29th!!!!!!!!!!! 24 more days!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! EEEEKKKKKK

Shopping Fool

I've always been a shopper. It's in my genes. I come from a LONG LINE of female shoppers in my family. It skipped a generation though since my mom HATES to shop. Anyway.... my grandma and my aunts are hardcore shoppers. In fact, I have a term for my grandma and her mad skills. Whenever I find a GREAT bargain, I mean, like practically free item, we refer to it as a "grandma bargain"!! She is famous for finding $70 pair of shoes for $5! Seriously...and speaking of shoes. They are her specialty. She is the Imelda Marcos of Santa Barbara! That woman has more shoes than she could ever wear for the rest of her life. In fact, my sweet grandma visited me and my family last weekend and what did she bring me? Shoes. Shoes that she bought but they didn't fit her right so she gave them to me! Oh, here's the great thing. Out of all her kids (5) and grandkids (14), I'm the only one that wears the same size as she does. So, guess who gets those shoes when grandma goes to sit with Jesus?!?! Damn skippy!!!! :)

So back to what I was saying? Oh, shopping. So, my stores of preference include JCP, Kohls, Target, Michaels, LB (for now), Old Navy, Macys, and Dillards. There are more, mind you... Anyway, so I always get ads for said stores and now I'm starting to get SUPER excited about clothes; EVEN MORE THAN NORMAL. LOL Being thin opens up a whole new ballgame where shopping is concerned. You could look at my closet now and see an S-Load of clothes and shoes, but being thin is going to be unlike anything I can imagine.

I'm glad I work outside of the home. Someone needs to support my habit!!! :) I CAN'T WAIT!!!

In fact, I saw this dress at Kohls.


I almost bought it. I LOVE IT. As much as I wanted it, I decided against it. My biggest problem was it was in the Juniors section. Me?! A Junior?! I never fit into the Juniors dept when I WAS a junior! haha So I thought it would be too far a stretch (goal) to even think that I could squeeze my ass in a Juniors' size dress. Oh what a goal it would be, but I don't want to get all crazy and depressed when I never get that small. So alas, it's still at the store.

Pre-Band Pic

Just thought I would share a pic real quick of the pre-banded me. This was exactly a month ago. Uggghhhhhh

Jillian Michaels

Had a bit of a heated argument at work today. It was between myself and one of my co-workers. We'll call him R. I like R. He's a nice guy...would give you the shirt off his back kind of nice guy. The other thing about R is that he weighs, if I had to guess, between 400-500lbs. Sadly, he's not the biggest person in our office. That award goes to D. She's probably over 550, easily. She sports a mullet and probably likes girls, but I'll stop right there about her.

So, back to R. We were in the breakroom and I mentioned that I watched Jillian's show last night. Well out of the blue, I got this lecture of the evil that is JM. How she's this horrible awful person who likes to degrade people and gets her kicks by making people cry. My argument was this: Several of the people on TBL and LI (the new show) need that tough love to get their asses moving. I said the contestants on that show KNEW what they were getting into when they signed up to be on TV. So for them to get pissed off at J because she rides them like a pony, is just ridiculous. Ya, of course she's a hard-ass and I know if I were in that situation I would probably tell her to EFF off too...but alas, I won't put myself in that situation. ;)

Anyway, so his reasoning was people (obese people) shouldn't be challenged like that to change their lives and they should be happy being fat; just like him. He's ANTI WLS (none of my cwrks know of my LBS intent) and he doesn't go to REAL doctors because 'they can't help him', which is code for "they all tell me to lose weight". One of the things he said to me was "ya, those people lose weight on the show and die two years later from cancer." That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard. He would rather eat that cheeseburger to keep up his quality of life, rather than actually living his life, a longer life without the cheeseburger. KWIM?! So, for now he's content to keep up his current lifestyle. He's going to shit twinkies once he finds out I took 'the easy way out'. Ummm, ya...if my choices are death OR LBS, I choose LBS THANKS!!!

While I'm on kind of a rant on R...riddle me this, my blog buds....

What do you do when said co-worker asks you to fax something for him since the machine is a trek down the hall that he'd rather not make. Or, when he consistently asks whomever is going out to lunch to bring him back something? I would say that happens like 3-4 times a week with various people. Does it bother me personally? Not really since it's not interrupting my work, my routine, or what have you. BUT, I do feel like we're all inabling him to stay on his ass and not do ANY type of physical activity while he's at work. Sometimes I take the stance that it's none of my business and as long as he's not intruding on me or taking advantage of me, then it's not my problem. Ya know?! But, like I mentioned before, he IS a sweet guy and he IS a friend. Then again, part of me wants to tell him "get off your ass and fax it yourself!" $5 says he will treat me differently once I start losing the weight. Right now, I think we share this unspeakable bond, like some secret (or not so secret) fat club, and that I will be betraying him in some way once I'm thinner. Who knows...maybe not!!

I don't know....just rambling at this point. Guess I should go to bed. Thanks for listening, my peeps!