TA-DA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
It's amazing what a week at the gym can do!! WOWZA! To bad I've only been once this week. :/ I know, I know.
Saturday, August 28, 2010
Proof is in the Pictures
OK, I will officially shut the eff up now. The proof is in the pictures. The scale may be on crack, but the pictures don't lie...
TA-DA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
It's amazing what a week at the gym can do!! WOWZA! To bad I've only been once this week. :/ I know, I know.
TA-DA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
It's amazing what a week at the gym can do!! WOWZA! To bad I've only been once this week. :/ I know, I know.
Friday, August 27, 2010
Restriction=PAIN????
Help me out, veteran bandsters. I did a day of liquids and last night we went out to dinner. Fajitas and I could barely choke down one steak fajita. I didn't vomit, or feel like I had to.... But it hurt like the devil going down. This pain in the middle of my shoulder blades, WTF is that???? I'm hungry, but it hurts too bad to eat! I know I have to eat something, but I can't live on protein drinks forever!!! Help!!! Will it loosen up, or is this what real restriction is and I should just deal with it?
My PA who did the fill said my day should consist of a cup of coffee, two small meals and maybe a high protein snack. If it's going to continue like this, looks like coffee is going to be my best friend!
Now, don't get me wrong....it's great that I can't eat normal quantities anymore, but should it be this painful???
My PA who did the fill said my day should consist of a cup of coffee, two small meals and maybe a high protein snack. If it's going to continue like this, looks like coffee is going to be my best friend!
Now, don't get me wrong....it's great that I can't eat normal quantities anymore, but should it be this painful???
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
Shitpile
After reading a heartbreaking story over at Erika's blog, I was inspired to start my own shitpile of hurtful memories that need to leave my brain & heart and never have power over me again.
To you- Michael Salisbury. You can KISS MY ASS.
I was in 5th grade and I had just started a new school due to my dad's job transfer. It was after Christmas Break (oh, excuse me...Winter Break. Nah, it was Christmas Break!) and I was walking to my classroom when this 6th grade boy was coming towards me in the hallway. I think I had been at the school a week. Thank GOD we were alone, but as we passed by each other he looked right at me and said "You're so fat and ugly it's pathetic." I was completely shocked and caught off guard that I just couldn't believe I heard him correctly. I tried to contain my tears for the rest of the day, but I couldn't. When anyone asked what was wrong, I made up something.
That happened 25 years ago and I still remember it like it was yesterday.
So, as I was saying. Michael Salisbury, you have been added to the shitpile.
To you- Michael Salisbury. You can KISS MY ASS.
I was in 5th grade and I had just started a new school due to my dad's job transfer. It was after Christmas Break (oh, excuse me...Winter Break. Nah, it was Christmas Break!) and I was walking to my classroom when this 6th grade boy was coming towards me in the hallway. I think I had been at the school a week. Thank GOD we were alone, but as we passed by each other he looked right at me and said "You're so fat and ugly it's pathetic." I was completely shocked and caught off guard that I just couldn't believe I heard him correctly. I tried to contain my tears for the rest of the day, but I couldn't. When anyone asked what was wrong, I made up something.
That happened 25 years ago and I still remember it like it was yesterday.
So, as I was saying. Michael Salisbury, you have been added to the shitpile.
Whiplash
My mood swings regarding this band is giving me whiplash. I apologize for the fact that one post seems like normal T, and the other is super pissed off T.
Well, this post is going to be another ticked off post, so at least I'm staying consistent.
I went to see DK today for another fill. My second. I stood on the scale expecting to see some kind of loss. hahahaha 248.4 I gained .4 in 2 weeks. Depressing, isn't it? Here I am busting my hump at the gym and I gain. Grrrrrrrrrrr
So once I got over that initial shock of the sucky scale, I got my second fill. He found the port, filled the port, and then had me stand, holding the needle IN my port, by the fluoro machine. I took a drink of the barium yuck, and there is sat in my baby pouch. Didn't even drain to the bottom. It just sat there. So, he let out a little until there was a small stream, took out the needle and that was it. I received 1.2cc so now I'm at 5.6cc in a 10cc band. I feel it. Restriction. (THANK YOU GAWD). I got in my car once I left the office and I took two drinks of water and felt it NOT going down. It eventually did, but it took a lot longer than I expected it to. Two days of liquids for me, that's for sure. In another two weeks, I get to do it again!
Anyway, so that's that. Oh, I didn't go to the gym tonight. Too pooped. I took the baby and walked around the hood. I need to go to bed earlier tonight so I can go tomorrow.
My DD started back to school this week. She's in second grade and seems less than thrilled for its return. She didn't get the teacher she wanted, and there is the devil's spawn in her class again this year. Can you imagine having a first grade who has been suspended several times for behavior issues?? I can't even fathom that, but that's the kid who is in her class again this year. The first time this kid throws a chair, or kicks the teacher, I'm requesting a room change. We put up with far too much crap last year to do it again. Don't piss off Mama Bear.
Anyway, thanks again for all the comments! Keep them coming (HINT HINT!!). I also apologize for being a crappy commenter too. I read them, but you all are so popular that if you have 20+ comments, anything I would have said has already been said at least 15 times!
Well, that concludes what's going on with me this Wednesday. I hope this finds you well and skinny. ;)
Well, this post is going to be another ticked off post, so at least I'm staying consistent.
I went to see DK today for another fill. My second. I stood on the scale expecting to see some kind of loss. hahahaha 248.4 I gained .4 in 2 weeks. Depressing, isn't it? Here I am busting my hump at the gym and I gain. Grrrrrrrrrrr
So once I got over that initial shock of the sucky scale, I got my second fill. He found the port, filled the port, and then had me stand, holding the needle IN my port, by the fluoro machine. I took a drink of the barium yuck, and there is sat in my baby pouch. Didn't even drain to the bottom. It just sat there. So, he let out a little until there was a small stream, took out the needle and that was it. I received 1.2cc so now I'm at 5.6cc in a 10cc band. I feel it. Restriction. (THANK YOU GAWD). I got in my car once I left the office and I took two drinks of water and felt it NOT going down. It eventually did, but it took a lot longer than I expected it to. Two days of liquids for me, that's for sure. In another two weeks, I get to do it again!
Anyway, so that's that. Oh, I didn't go to the gym tonight. Too pooped. I took the baby and walked around the hood. I need to go to bed earlier tonight so I can go tomorrow.
My DD started back to school this week. She's in second grade and seems less than thrilled for its return. She didn't get the teacher she wanted, and there is the devil's spawn in her class again this year. Can you imagine having a first grade who has been suspended several times for behavior issues?? I can't even fathom that, but that's the kid who is in her class again this year. The first time this kid throws a chair, or kicks the teacher, I'm requesting a room change. We put up with far too much crap last year to do it again. Don't piss off Mama Bear.
Anyway, thanks again for all the comments! Keep them coming (HINT HINT!!). I also apologize for being a crappy commenter too. I read them, but you all are so popular that if you have 20+ comments, anything I would have said has already been said at least 15 times!
Well, that concludes what's going on with me this Wednesday. I hope this finds you well and skinny. ;)
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
@&$);;(!!&@&,;;
That sums up my mood these last few days. Insert your favorite expletives up there.
I'm failing at this. Another failed attempt at weightloss. It's been almost 2 months and I haven't lost squat.
I have no one to blame but myself. I don't exercise, then eat like crap. I do exercise, and still eat like crap. I haven't changed anything. I still eat fastfood. Then I feel guilty, then remorseful, then pissed off, then I say Eff it and do it all over again.
What is my problem?!?! Afraid of success?? Determined to stay fat???
Damn why does this have to be so hard?? Why do I always compare myself to others?? Meaning, those others who were banded at the same time and have lost 30lbs or more!!!! Why am I stuck at virtually Effin ZERO??????
Oh right. Fast food crap. Not moving daily. Not watching my portions. Eating easily 8oz of steak, a baked potato with sour cream and an artichoke with margarine (last nights dinner) and not even think twice. The other night (fri) I did a 2hr workout. 55min at a dance class called Hustle (that kicked my ass) followed by a mile walk on the treadmill and then some weight machines. Sounds great, until I went to Chipotle on Sunday and ate the entire burrito bowl (with a tortilla ) in two sittings! I shouldn't be able to eat that, right?!?!?
I go in tomorrow for another fill and I hope he clamps the damn thing. Short of wiring my damn mouth shut, something else drastic needs to happen.
I'm failing at this. Another failed attempt at weightloss. It's been almost 2 months and I haven't lost squat.
I have no one to blame but myself. I don't exercise, then eat like crap. I do exercise, and still eat like crap. I haven't changed anything. I still eat fastfood. Then I feel guilty, then remorseful, then pissed off, then I say Eff it and do it all over again.
What is my problem?!?! Afraid of success?? Determined to stay fat???
Damn why does this have to be so hard?? Why do I always compare myself to others?? Meaning, those others who were banded at the same time and have lost 30lbs or more!!!! Why am I stuck at virtually Effin ZERO??????
Oh right. Fast food crap. Not moving daily. Not watching my portions. Eating easily 8oz of steak, a baked potato with sour cream and an artichoke with margarine (last nights dinner) and not even think twice. The other night (fri) I did a 2hr workout. 55min at a dance class called Hustle (that kicked my ass) followed by a mile walk on the treadmill and then some weight machines. Sounds great, until I went to Chipotle on Sunday and ate the entire burrito bowl (with a tortilla ) in two sittings! I shouldn't be able to eat that, right?!?!?
I go in tomorrow for another fill and I hope he clamps the damn thing. Short of wiring my damn mouth shut, something else drastic needs to happen.
Friday, August 20, 2010
Where is T and what is up with this chick?!?!
I've been doing some type of PE all this week!!! Shocking I know!!!!
Monday, I walked for 30min around the 'hood. Tuesday, I took that Zumba ( or zoom-butt as my DH now refers to it). Wednesday, I did the Elli at home, and then last night I went to the gym & worked out for 1.5hrs on various machines! The kicker?? I'm going again tonight!!! Somebody STOP me!!!!! lol. I'm actually liking the free time, the de-stress time, the girl time, and the me-time I'm getting from this!
For someone who would rather walk on hot coals naked while being chased by a pack of wild dogs than exercise, I'm surprised by my new found....uhem.... Dare I say hobby?!?! Trust me, no one could be more surprised then I am about this revelation. It seriously is a major breakthrough for me. After 4 short days, I just feel better. Ya, I'm sore, but I feel less jiggley and flabby. The scale hasn't budged, but I'm ok with it because I know I'm moving...and really that's all I can do!!!
Monday, I walked for 30min around the 'hood. Tuesday, I took that Zumba ( or zoom-butt as my DH now refers to it). Wednesday, I did the Elli at home, and then last night I went to the gym & worked out for 1.5hrs on various machines! The kicker?? I'm going again tonight!!! Somebody STOP me!!!!! lol. I'm actually liking the free time, the de-stress time, the girl time, and the me-time I'm getting from this!
For someone who would rather walk on hot coals naked while being chased by a pack of wild dogs than exercise, I'm surprised by my new found....uhem.... Dare I say hobby?!?! Trust me, no one could be more surprised then I am about this revelation. It seriously is a major breakthrough for me. After 4 short days, I just feel better. Ya, I'm sore, but I feel less jiggley and flabby. The scale hasn't budged, but I'm ok with it because I know I'm moving...and really that's all I can do!!!
Thursday, August 19, 2010
Zumba
Took my first class on Tuesday night. Sooooo much fun. Realized just how out of shape I am though. Of course I knew I was, but that just reaffirmed it. Uggghhhhh. It was nice to see all kinds of people in there and know everyone wasn't looking at me thinking bad things. I mean, I'm there, and isn't the gym where us fatties are supposed to be?!?!? That's what I thought!!! So I walked in, didn't pay anymind to the iddy bitty boobie barbies and shook what mama gave me!!! Did I look like an uncoordinated hot mess?!? Probably. But you know what, I'd say only 5% of the people in that class looked like they knew what they were doing! So if you're thinking about going to a Zumba class, just do it!!! Remember, when in doubt... Keep shaking your ass and no one will know the difference!!! :)
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