Fear

What are you afraid of??

My fears (some are worse than others):

A lot of pain following the surgery
Gas Pain
Complications from surgery
Complications during healing
Being an emotional mess due to hunger during the two week Optifast plan
Only having liquids for two freakin weeks.
Being an emotional mess after the surgery due to pain and hunger
Not being able to eat Mexican food again or donuts or bread or rice
Not being able to celebrate with others when they celebrate with food
I'm going regret getting the LB, initially.
I'm going to be watched like a hawk at work from the old ladies whom I'm sure already talk about what I eat, regardless. ("You're eating a Healthy Choice meal?! You SHOULD be eating a Lean Cuisine. Tsk tsk")
I'm going to be a bitch to my family when I can't eat what they are eating
I'm going to be throwing up constantly
I'm going to die a premature death despite losing 100+ lbs
I won't lose the weight
I will fail
Having poo issues
I'll be the one that loses the weight, but gains it right back with gusto
Disappointing myself, my husband, my family, my doctors
Losing all the weight, but inside I will still feel like I'm fat
Having too much skin leftover
Looking older
Having the band erode and/or have it be recalled in like 5yrs after having it


I'm sure there are more, but that's all I can think of right now.

Dietician Class Tomorrow

Tomorrow is hoop #3. A class with a dietician at the surgeon's office. They told me it takes an hour, so that's good. For some reason I had the impression that I was going to be there all morning. *wipes brow in relief*

I don't know what to expect. Will it be a 'here is what you get to eat prior to the surgery' OR 'this is what you can expect to eat AFTER the surgery'. I don't know. It's only an hour, so I can't see it being about both, in any detail anyway.

I'll let you know how it goes.

For Sale: Slightly Used Uterus

OMG, I'm having cramps. I haven't had cramps like this since I had my IUD inserted like 9 months ago. TMI- I'm also bleeding too. I haven't had a visit from dear Aunt Flow in I don't know how long either. THIS SUCKS. I'm PMSing, everything is putting me in a bad mood (could be the fact that I've skipped my happy pills for over a week now. Ya think!?!?! I just took them.). I'm stressing this week too. Planning P2's first birthday bash has got me a little bonkers. It's a VERY small party, but I want everything to be perfect, for me....she could give a bunny's behind about it!!

Oh well.... I have my dietician visit on Friday. This little foreplay with the band is winding down to the BIG ONE. INSURANCE APPROVAL!!! I'll keep you posted!

Howdy New Followers!

Normally I wouldn't use the term 'howdy' (can take the girl out of California, but you can't take California out of the girl!) but it seemed fitting! Thanks for following little (well, you know what I mean) ol' me! I'm touched!

6 followers! WOW! Only 357 to catch up with fabulous Amy W! She's a superstar in blogland I'm finding out, and with good reason. She's a hoot! (OK, now I know I've been in TX too long) Well, in the words of nerd girl from FB Day Off, "Amy W, you're my hero". :)

In all seriousness, I really thank you for following and no matter where you are in the Band Laps (get it?!), I hope we can bond through thick and thin (man, somebody stop me!). :)

Full Body Pictures

HAHA! Made you look!

I'm not going to be posting any full body shots of myself until I'm officially given a surgery date. No use exploiting myself (anymore) with photos! hahaha However, when the time comes, I will be a photo posting fool. I promise.

Oh, and for the record, that pic of me up there? That was taken while preggo with P2. I look suprisingly slender (for me) in the face, so I use it. Who says I can't boost myself up a little while I'm in the meantime in between time! ;)

Not (clinically) Crazy, Hoop #2 Complete

bwahahahahahah <----psycho laugh

So I had my psych evaluation today and it looks like I'm NOT crazy, well not crazy enough to prevent me from having LBS! Yippy. I hope I'm not counting my proverbial chickens, but it seems to me I'm one day closer to getting this show on the road. That, my friends, makes me extremely happy and terrified at the same time. :)

The therapist was pretty easygoing and I think she could relate a lot of what my goals and expectations were concerning my weight. I think she is a mom too, so she 'gets it'. After the routine questions were asked like what my fears, goals, life history, etc... I had to answer a series of questions in three seperate test books. Test booklets like fill in the bubble with a Number #2 pencil, type test booklet. I felt like I was taking the CTBS tests all over again! (For those of you not from California, CTBS is the California Test of Basic Skills given to kids to see how smart they are or aren't.)

I think there was roughly 500 questions to answer. Here is a sampling of what I can remember. Oh, answer True or False. OR, False, Slightly False, Moderately True or True. LOL

1. Your use of drugs is starting to effect your job.

2. You are impatient with others who do not understand your plans.

3. You like to sky-dive.

4. You've had your face on numerous magazine covers this month. (I kid you not, true question. Uh, nope, my name isn't Kate Gosselin!)

5. You like to bite the heads off live chickens only on nights with a full moon. (OK, I made that one up, but you get the idea.)

Now, here is one question that I kind of thought "should I answer this truthfully or not?!". I did tell the truth, but if it hurts me I'm going to be PISSED!!!!!

Question: Have you ever taken medications that did not belong to you because you thought they would help you feel better.
I answered: True.

If you are married (or even if you're not), and you have a major headache and your hubby (SO) has some leftover Vicodin lying around from his back surgery, wouldn't you take one?? Cmon, you KNOW you would. I was just being honest and I hope it doesn't turn out to bite me in the bum. Hmmpphhh The surgeon should get the results back in two weeks or less. I'll keep you posted.

Hoop #2 is complete, and in one week I will have my first meeting with the dietician (Hoop numero tres!).

Ugghhh

I cracked and had a soda today. :(

Boo. It was diet. :/

But alas, I shall adapt and overcome.