I'm doing it again.
Falling into old habits. It's what I've done my entire life. Afterall, how do you maintain this lovely figure I've got going on?!?! I eat horribly and I make bad choices.
Exhibit one:
Friday- P1 asks for me to take her to breakfast in the morning. Months ago I did promise to take her to get donuts one morning before school. I've been stalling and stalling and once being called out on it, I make a compromise. How does Jack in the Box sound?! Better than donuts, right?! I thought so too. So off we went, to the drive-thru. I ordered a breakfast sandwich. I wanted just the sandwich and a drink, but I was given their hashbrown sticks. So, on the way I decided to take a few bites. Band Rule #2: Don't eat while driving. BROKEN. I took a few bites (errr, finished one stick in two bites), swallowed and then felt it. You know, IT. The stake through the heart feeling. STUCK. So I took some deep breaths, opened up my shoulders through stretching and waited for it to pass. Thankfully it went down and I was free that time. So I got to work and ate my sandwich.
Then lunch time rolled around. Did I pack my lunch like a good lil bandster? Nope. So, I HAD to go buy something. I went to this great little fastfood joint and picked up a couple tacos. Not the worst choice I could have made there (their food is DIVINE!), but still. Fastfood.
So then dinnertime rolls around. Hmmmm, who wants to cook on a Friday night? Not DH. Not me. Especially since I made plans with some co-workers to go see Eclipse (again!). I needed something quick and easy. Mmmmmmmm, what sounds good. BURGERS!!! So another drive thru I frequented. That's THREE in ONE DAY. HELLO McFLY!!!!!!!??????!!!!!! THAT'S HOW YOU GOT FAT TO BEGIN WITH!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Grrrrr.
We get home, open up my wonderful Jalapeno Cheese Burger and realize it was a DOUBLE!! A DOUBLE?!? Really?!?!? So fat-ass me is thinking, sure I can eat this! It's extra protein, right?! So I start nibbling away. Doing good. Going down no problem. Eating some fries too. Yum Yum. No problems. Still eating. Damn this is one good burger. Before I know it...it's GONE. I ATE THE WHOLE DAMN THING!!!!! It was HUGE. I should NOT be able to eat all of that. But alas, I did. :(
But you want to hear the pisser???? As if the above wasn't bad enough.... I woke up on Saturday morning and the scale was down 2.5lbs. DOWN!?! DOWN!!!!!! WHAT THE EFF????????????????????
No wonder I'm bat-S crazy!!!!! I eat horribly and the scale has the nerve to reward that behavior?!? WTF! I just don't get it.
Yesterday, I took the big girl to get our hair cut and we stopped at a local dive and got breakfast. Again, ate too much (I was still reeling from the loss in the AM), went the rest of the day without eating again until 7pm. We had to go to a birthday party. I had a piece of pizza, two little slices of lasagna, a roll, and some salad. AGAIN, OINK OINK.
Today is now Sunday, and I'm back up 1lb. Please tell me how that is possible after the meals I've been eating? I'm SOOOO confused. (stayed tuned for the future rant post that is "How the EFF did I gain 10lbs overnight" and please slap me and direct me to this post!!!!)
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Congrats on the loss, but it would appear that you have decended into bandster hell. Things will change when fill time comes. Just look forward to it! Reserve to the fact that you are probably eating less than before...
ReplyDeleteI was banded the day before you and I feel your pain. I spent the last week on vacation in Florida - so I ate my share of crap food. We just have to move forward. I have my first fill tomorrow - so I'm guessing my days of being able to eat the things that I like will be over :) Hang in there - you are doing great.
ReplyDeleteBelieve me, been there, done that. How do you think I managed to gain weight after being banded?
ReplyDeleteTrust me, when you hit restriction, eating like this will be a thing of that past. You physically will just NOT be able to do it. And that's a good thing, because my head has certainly not caught up with my body.
Let it go, and move on. Beating yourself up over it does nothing. Remember, until you have restriction, you are dieting just like you always have. And where did that dieting get you???? :)
Don't beat yourself down - this is a marathon, not a sprint! It's all going to work out!
ReplyDeletehttp://therestofmylifelisa.blogspot.com/
Thanks everyone! Oh to be banded more than one month and so wise!! I wish I would have known & believed it would be a slow start like this. I'm grateful I haven't told many IRL about being banded. It's bad enough that my inlaws are watching what I'm eating and looking at me and thinking 'that band didn't do squat for her...' Someday, someday. 10 more days til my first fill!!!
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