Days since Band and I became One

My Scale

Wednesday, September 5, 2012

Access Denied

Ya, so my insurance won't cover the revision to a sleeve. BMI requirement is 35 with co-morbidities. My BMI is 33.4. Can you believe that? So close, yet so far away.

I'm discouraged, again.

I can appeal it. Pay for it on my own, or just have the band removed and just live my life.

Since I have so much going on from now til the end of the year, I'm going to wait to have it removed.

I'm thinking about appealing it. My blood pressure is naturally high, so it wouldn't take much to get back on b/p meds to get one co-morbidity back into play. I'm thinking of writing a story in my appeal. My story. With pictures. Giving them a face to go with a name. Making them see I'm a real person who needs this.

I don't know. My family believes in me to keep the weight off. I just don't believe in myself. This setback has me questioning my determination. I just feel lost.
I feel like I'm stranded at sea. Just me on my raft. Alone. Deserted. Just floating helplessly going wherever the tide takes me. No direction.

I wish someone would take my hand and lead me to wherever it is I need to be. Maybe I am being guided and I just don't know it. Maybe the revision isn't what I need. Maybe I'm meant to fight this battle solely on my own.

I'm not a highly religious person, but I do believe. Maybe I just need to pray about it.

Thanks for listening.

Love, T