Days since Band and I became One

My Scale

Wednesday, August 31, 2011

Quick Fix my Ass

I'm a part of a website for weight loss tracking & it pisses me off when people refer to WLS as a quick fix!!!!! I know it's just their insecurity, ignorance & justification to themselves why they haven't had it done- but it makes me angry!!! I wouldn't call struggling to lose 80lbs in 14 months "quick". That's not even 6lbs a month!! I wouldn't call shelling out thousands of dollars easy, either. What I really want to say to you people who think this is a "quick fix" is this:
This is not an effin cake walk. I've worked hard for these 80lbs. I made the choice on my own when I had run out of options. Surgery OR DEATH. If you're reading this, and your BMI is over 50- those are probably your options too. I was tired of losing weight on my own, only to gain it back. If you don't make a solid decision in your head to permanently & drastically change your lifestyle, you can lose 1000lbs and every bit of it will come back!!! I promise. This isn't foolproof either. Nothing is. But the success rate is much higher.

I mean, look at the biggest losers. Who hasn't gained their weight back?! Most of the winners have. We applaud them for "doing it the old fashioned way" and yet look down & feel sorry for them when they gain it back. Skinny people probably think " awww, if he had just said no to the cookies" and fat people really knew it was just a matter of time before it came back and we're thinking "keep your fat clothes, honey." Most of the time it does.

So, as I was saying. You can call this the quick fix all you want, but when you're tired of being sick & tired, come talk to me. Talk to any of us. We have nothing to hide and only support to give.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Friday, August 26, 2011

Friday Night Bitch Fest. You've been warned.

I can't stand gossipy people. I really can't stand gossipy old hags who make it their lifes' work to be in everyone's business and 'get to the bottom' of whatever it is they're trying to uncover. Case in point, like how I lost so much weight.

Here's the answer:


Where did this rant come from? There is this woman in the office who was forever trying to 'crack my code' since she's been struggling with her weight. She sees me, who is younger, losing all this weight (albeit slowly) and she's made it her life mission to find out my secret. Since I'm not out of the fat closest, I tell people- Diet, exercise and portion control. If you get down to the nitty-gritty, I'm not lying. I limit the amount of food I'm shoveling down my gullet and I've lost weight. End of story, and that's all they need to know until I'm ready to come clean. What I don't like is the gossip that is flying around about how I MUST have had something done. Who cares if I have?! Is it any concern of yours?! I don't see what the big deal is. Is it really going to change how you view me?? I'm a freakin' co-worker, not your daughter or sister. Even then, who the eff cares. I'm alive. I'm in good health, I'm certainly not hurting anyone. What's the freakin problem?! Oh, I KNOW- YOU HAVE TO STICK YOUR FAT NOSE IN EVERYONES BUSINESS. Grrrrrrrrrrrr

OK, so that's beef numero uno. The second involves someone I know whom I've mentioned on here before. Another person I work with. Love him to death, but he's killing himself and we, as his fellow cohorts, are contributing to it. He's in his early 40s and probably weighs, if I had to guess, close to 600lbs. He's scooter-free, but barely. Where we come in, is that he's always asking us to go buy him fast food. Since I've lost weight (and he knows how because I told him out of rage one day when he was saying he would never do "that" because he's heard stories of horrible outcomes from WLS patients. Me and my big fat mouth had to say "Oh really?! Do i look all that bad, because I'm a WLS patient and I'm freaking WONDERFUL." That shut him up real quick, but I digress...), he doesn't ask me to get him food as often, but the others oblige him. We work in a multi-story building and for him to leave, he has to walk a bit. HEAVEN FORBID. WALKING. So instead of putting forth the effort, he asks us to do it. I can't help but to think we're killing him. I know I'm not the only one who is put out by it. I've talked to several others (who know about me- close confidants) who feel they don't want to hurt anyone's feelings, but they hate doing it. What's more sad, is that we have interns every summer. College kids that don't know a soul there, and he asks THEM to go get him food. Can you believe that?!?! Do you really think they are going to tell him no?! Maybe it's just me, but I feel awful for them. Other than avoid him like the plague, I just feel awful when I see people bringing him fast food. What would you do? I mean, part of me thinks and takes the stance of "It's none of my business and if I'm getting fast food, what's the harm in bringing him some too." But the logical side of me is thinking "If he wants to continue to kill himself, at least make him make the 30 steps trek to his car and back for a meal". KWIM?!
When he asks me if I'm going anywhere for lunch, I really want to say "Yes, I am, but I'm sorry I can't bring you back anything. If you want something unhealthy, YOU need to get off your ass and get it yourself." But I'm nice (HA!) and could never say this to my friend. Honestly, he'd give you the shirt off his back...he's just that type of guy. But I'm torn about how to deal with my internal conflict at the whole weight thing.

He also has people do stuff for him around the office. For instance, pick up faxes, punch the time clock, get him water, throw stuff away in the trash can (that's 4ft away from where he's sitting) etc etc. We used to have our printer down at the end of this long hallway. Well, now guess where it is. A mere 2ft from HIS desk so it's convenient for him. Maybe this is coming from a skinny girl (although I would never consider myself that), but when did being overweight become a disability requiring special accomodations at the workplace?! If he were coming into work drunk everyday or high as a kite, would the job being footing the bill for his habit? Would we put a wine fridge near his desk?! I don't think why the moving of the printer? I don't know why it upsets me, but it does. We're watching him kill himself. That's the scary thing. We have a small elevator at the office. If he were to have some cardiac episode of anything requiring an EMT situation, it would be awful. I don't think they would be able to get him on a stretcher out the door.

Am I being a hyprocrite by bitching about the nosey nellie, and yet being the bitchy one by caring about what a co-worker eats or how he goes about getting it?!

Maybe I just need to worry about myself. Ya, that's probably it. :/

I DID IT!!!!

I'm down 80lbs today!!!!!! Almost 14 months to the day that I was banded! INCREDIBLE!!!! Now just 20 more til I reach the goal of 100lbs lost, and 40 more til my MAJOR GOAL!!! It's sooooo within my reach!! Thank you everyone for your support!!!! :)

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Sunday, August 7, 2011

Another "I'm Alive" entry

It seems like all my posts are titled "I'm Alive"?! I guess when someone is on the PC all day long at work, the last thing they want to do when they get home for the day is log on the PC! I'm sorry I haven't been around, but such is life.
Here is a bit of an update of what's been going on since June. Geez, can't believe it's been that long since I've posted.
Anyway, so I decided a few months back that I was going to start singing again. I don't know if I mentioned that before, but in my younger days, I sang. I did musical theatre. I loved performing and just singing in general. I decided that I was going to find a voice teacher and start taking lessons once a week. Well, I did and they've been great. I did have an alterior motive, and it was called Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat. I love this musical. It's my favorite! The part that I think my voice is most suited is that of the Narrator! So when I saw that auditions were coming up in Aug for a local production, I knew I had to get my butt in gear to do it. Hence the lessons AND starting Jillian Michael's 30 Day Shred. I started the shred on 7/8 and have been doing it daily for a good 27 days. I defaulted the last 4 days and need to start it again since I didn't go the full 30. back to my story.
This week was the annual Scentsy convention! Luckily this year it was in my home state, so I was able to make it. My first one and I was thrilled. OMG- SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO much fun!!! I had a blast and we got all kinds of freebies! I love Scentsy!! But anyway, so this weekend also was my auditon. But, it turned out to be a two-step process. Dance audition followed by a vocal audition. Ummm, ya, I'm not a dancer by any stretch of the imagination. I can move, but I'm NOT a dancer. Well, yesterday was tha dance audition. I kept having images of Chris Farley compared to Patrick Swayze in that famous SNL skit about a Chippendale dancer audition between the two. Ummm, ya....I was Chris Farley!! But that's OK, I wasn't the worst up there, but lord knows I was FAR from the best. I did my thing. I stayed. I DID IT and that's all that mattered to me. THEN, they dropped the bomb and announced they would only call a select few to hear them sing. I believe they would call today, and my phone hasn't rang once. :(
It's kind of discouraging that they didn't even want to hear me, after I've practiced for months. But, if that's how they want to conduct the audition process, I guess that's their right. It doesn't mean I have to like it. If they were going by vocal ability alone, I KNOW I would be in the running. I CAN SING!!!! :)
Anyway, so back to my workout. Jillian Michaels is the devil in spandex....BUT I'm feeling so much better after doing this. I have increased stamina, I feel so much stronger, and I think I've lost a few inches. I took measurements and before & after pics, but I'm not going to note everything until next Saturday. I'm going to do it for one more week and then see my progress. I don't think I've lost any weight (I keep bouncing between 187 & 184), but I think I've lost inches. :)
So in all, I'm pretty pleased with myself and my accomplishments this summer. I set goals, I completed goals, and that, to me, is awesome!!! :)
Here is a pic of me from last week.
Here is another one. I'm second to last on the left with my Scentsy sisters (and brothers- or sisters hahaha).
What I love most about this pic, and it made me tear up when I saw it, is that I'm not the largest girl in this pic. I look 'normal sized' compared to everyone else and I LOVE THAT!!!!!
I hope everyone is well and loving life. Everything else is is getting another adjustment this week. I'm at a 4.9cc currently and feel I could be a little tighter. I'm still hungry between meals, but nothing like I was a month ago. Now if I could just get down to the 170s I would be happy as a clam!!