Wednesday, August 31, 2011
This is not an effin cake walk. I've worked hard for these 80lbs. I made the choice on my own when I had run out of options. Surgery OR DEATH. If you're reading this, and your BMI is over 50- those are probably your options too. I was tired of losing weight on my own, only to gain it back. If you don't make a solid decision in your head to permanently & drastically change your lifestyle, you can lose 1000lbs and every bit of it will come back!!! I promise. This isn't foolproof either. Nothing is. But the success rate is much higher.
I mean, look at the biggest losers. Who hasn't gained their weight back?! Most of the winners have. We applaud them for "doing it the old fashioned way" and yet look down & feel sorry for them when they gain it back. Skinny people probably think " awww, if he had just said no to the cookies" and fat people really knew it was just a matter of time before it came back and we're thinking "keep your fat clothes, honey." Most of the time it does.
So, as I was saying. You can call this the quick fix all you want, but when you're tired of being sick & tired, come talk to me. Talk to any of us. We have nothing to hide and only support to give.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
Friday, August 26, 2011
Here's the answer:
NONE OF YOUR EFFIN BUSINESS, YOU STUPID BITCH.
Where did this rant come from? There is this woman in the office who was forever trying to 'crack my code' since she's been struggling with her weight. She sees me, who is younger, losing all this weight (albeit slowly) and she's made it her life mission to find out my secret. Since I'm not out of the fat closest, I tell people- Diet, exercise and portion control. If you get down to the nitty-gritty, I'm not lying. I limit the amount of food I'm shoveling down my gullet and I've lost weight. End of story, and that's all they need to know until I'm ready to come clean. What I don't like is the gossip that is flying around about how I MUST have had something done. Who cares if I have?! Is it any concern of yours?! I don't see what the big deal is. Is it really going to change how you view me?? I'm a freakin' co-worker, not your daughter or sister. Even then, who the eff cares. I'm alive. I'm in good health, I'm certainly not hurting anyone. What's the freakin problem?! Oh, I KNOW- YOU HAVE TO STICK YOUR FAT NOSE IN EVERYONES BUSINESS. Grrrrrrrrrrrr
OK, so that's beef numero uno. The second involves someone I know whom I've mentioned on here before. Another person I work with. Love him to death, but he's killing himself and we, as his fellow cohorts, are contributing to it. He's in his early 40s and probably weighs, if I had to guess, close to 600lbs. He's scooter-free, but barely. Where we come in, is that he's always asking us to go buy him fast food. Since I've lost weight (and he knows how because I told him out of rage one day when he was saying he would never do "that" because he's heard stories of horrible outcomes from WLS patients. Me and my big fat mouth had to say "Oh really?! Do i look all that bad, because I'm a WLS patient and I'm freaking WONDERFUL." That shut him up real quick, but I digress...), he doesn't ask me to get him food as often, but the others oblige him. We work in a multi-story building and for him to leave, he has to walk a bit. HEAVEN FORBID. WALKING. So instead of putting forth the effort, he asks us to do it. I can't help but to think we're killing him. I know I'm not the only one who is put out by it. I've talked to several others (who know about me- close confidants) who feel they don't want to hurt anyone's feelings, but they hate doing it. What's more sad, is that we have interns every summer. College kids that don't know a soul there, and he asks THEM to go get him food. Can you believe that?!?! Do you really think they are going to tell him no?! Maybe it's just me, but I feel awful for them. Other than avoid him like the plague, I just feel awful when I see people bringing him fast food. What would you do? I mean, part of me thinks and takes the stance of "It's none of my business and if I'm getting fast food, what's the harm in bringing him some too." But the logical side of me is thinking "If he wants to continue to kill himself, at least make him make the 30 steps trek to his car and back for a meal". KWIM?!
When he asks me if I'm going anywhere for lunch, I really want to say "Yes, I am, but I'm sorry I can't bring you back anything. If you want something unhealthy, YOU need to get off your ass and get it yourself." But I'm nice (HA!) and could never say this to my friend. Honestly, he'd give you the shirt off his back...he's just that type of guy. But I'm torn about how to deal with my internal conflict at the whole weight thing.
He also has people do stuff for him around the office. For instance, pick up faxes, punch the time clock, get him water, throw stuff away in the trash can (that's 4ft away from where he's sitting) etc etc. We used to have our printer down at the end of this long hallway. Well, now guess where it is. A mere 2ft from HIS desk so it's convenient for him. Maybe this is coming from a skinny girl (although I would never consider myself that), but when did being overweight become a disability requiring special accomodations at the workplace?! If he were coming into work drunk everyday or high as a kite, would the job being footing the bill for his habit? Would we put a wine fridge near his desk?! I don't think so....so why the moving of the printer? I don't know why it upsets me, but it does. We're watching him kill himself. That's the scary thing. We have a small elevator at the office. If he were to have some cardiac episode of anything requiring an EMT situation, it would be awful. I don't think they would be able to get him on a stretcher out the door.
Am I being a hyprocrite by bitching about the nosey nellie, and yet being the bitchy one by caring about what a co-worker eats or how he goes about getting it?!
Maybe I just need to worry about myself. Ya, that's probably it. :/
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
Sunday, August 7, 2011
Friday, July 1, 2011
Thursday, June 30, 2011
A year later, I'm down 76.5lbs and I've lost a ton of inches!!! It's just amazing how things have changed in just one short year!!!
My Stats (roughly since I'm not very good at measuring!)
Here are some things that I'm proud of:
- I went from a size 24/26 in Womens to a size 14/16 in MISSES!!
- My feet have gone from a 7.5/8W to a size 6.5-7 regular!
- I went from a 46D bra to a 38C (not sure how I feel about this one! I'm starting a "New Boobs for T" fundraiser. You're all welcome to contribute!)
- I can sleep on my stomach comfortably and not wake up with my back killing me.
- I can sleep all night without tossing and turning because I can't get comfortable.
- I'm UNDER 200lbs!!!!
- I can get down on the floor with my kids and get up without feeling like my knees are going to pop off.
- I can paint my own piggy toes without needing a defibrulator(sp?) afterwards.
- I can go more than 5 minutes on my elliptical!
- I can easily climb stairs without needing an oxygen mask when I'm through.
- When I see pics of my profile, I don't believe it's me.
- I can curl up on the couch and REALLY curl up in a ball instead of a big lump!
- I haven't had a soda in over a year and I survived.
- I can now say 'no thanks' to donuts and cinnamon rolls (or at least to the WHOLE thing!)
- I'm under 200lbs!!!
- I can go to a restaurant and know I'm not the biggest person in there.
- I'm 36yrs old and I still get looks from men and it's WONDERFUL.
- Relations with the DH is amazing. ;)
- I'm under 200lbs!!!!!!!!!! :)
I'm sorry, I will need to post the before and recent pics later! They good collage I made is at the office. :( Sorry guys!
I hope you're well and loving life. I'm still dealing with dialated pouch, but I'm back on the wagon. I got a 2cc fill a few weeks ago, so I'm heading in the right direction again.
Although my journey hasn't been smooth sailing 100% of the time, and I've recently encountered some bumps in the road- I would change my experience with the band for anything. I honestly think my days would be numbered as I was on the fast track to 300lbs. Being only 5'1" (I always thought I was 5'2", so you might notice how I flunctuate in height on here! haha), it wouldn't have been pretty or fun at all.
If anyone stumbles upon this blog because you're considering the surgery, I can't say it enough. GO FOR IT!!!! It will change your life for the better!!!!
Sunday, June 12, 2011
Despite my daily walking/eliptical efforts, I'm still gaining and eating. It's awful. I've suddenly forgotten every band rule there ever was:
Small bites? Not hardly.
Chewing my food to mush? Ya right.
Not drinking & eating at the same time? Uh nope.
Stopping when I feel full? What's this 'full' word you speak of?
The few behaviors I'm continuing to do well is exercising & not drinking soda.
See what I mean though? I'm a mess. I feel like such a failure. It's almost my bandiversary and I wanted to be down 100lbs, but now I'll be lucky to be down 70 at the rate I'm going. (Not that 70lbs isn't something to balk at- but still, when the scale is moving in the opposite direction, it still sucks big hairy balls.)
I need to go back to see DK on Friday and I pray that I get some restriction back. It's obvious I need it. Hell, if I could have done it by myself, I wouldn't have needed the surgery in the first place. I can't help feeling like I'm going to undo everything I've accomplished so far and that scares the piss out of me.
I need help.
Wednesday, June 8, 2011
First off, I'm out of saline. No restriction whatsoever. :(. For the last two weeks I've been having major reflux/ indigestion. Although my original visit with DK wasn't scheduled til this Fri, I knew I couldn't wait that long. I went in last Fri and they found that my pouch had dilated and I was on the verge of a band slip. HOLY SHEEP. Shocking. Thankfully I didn't wait until this week. Anyway, so they removed everything from my band, checked me under the fluoroscope and thank gawd my band went back to where it belongs. I go in in two weeks to check it out. I probably won't get a fill though. :(
I'm scared. It's shocking how quickly we revert to our old ways when given the chance. I said wasnt going to go all stupid and gain back my weight, but what did my dumbass do last night? Bacon cheeseburger & fries for dinner. :(. It sucked too, but I ate it anyway. Even though I went walking last night, as I've been doing every other day, I still feel like crap physically. What's worse is the guilt. I feel horrible. Like I gained 80lbs overnight. Uggh.
So that's that. I'm going to do better. I want to show DK that I'm not a complete failure and I can at least maintain my weight during this time. I just got a bunch of new clothes for my bday and I'll be damned if they're not going to fit in a month!!!!
Here's a pic of moi that i took on Monday. I'm at 185.5 this am (up from 184 yesterday. Dammit)
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
Monday, March 28, 2011
Thursday, March 17, 2011
Friday, March 4, 2011
I can't surpass the 197 mark. I get to 196.5 and then jump right back up. I don't know what I'm doing besides not exercising (I know.). I consume roughly 800-1000 calories a day. Never more than 1200 I'm sure. I don't drink my calories. I don't drink any soda. I don't eat bread or pasta. I don't eat candy in large quantities. I will have a miniature every other day at work though. lol Once a week I have an ice cream. I eat my veggies, protein and cheese. I do notice I don't drink that much water. I think I pee three times a day, maybe four.
Hmmm, now that's got me thinking. Maybe the fat isn't flushing out because there isn't anything doing the flushing. DUH (cue Charlie Sheen voiceover). Sometimes you just need to work things out via your blog and you will get your answer. LOL
OK, that's my goal for this weekend. I will drink water like a fish and see what the scale reads on Monday. This morning I was 196.5lbs. I promise to report back on Monday and see what it says.
On a great note- I added two more Scentsy girls to my team & I got my first fundraiser!! Sooooo happy!! I'm on my way to becoming a Director!! :) Want more info about this great company, send me a note! I'd LOVE to chat! It's trinscentsATgmailDotCom :)
Friday, February 25, 2011
1. Are you a heavy or light sleeper?
I'm a mom, is that really a question?! I sleep with one ear open at all times! (I know that doesn't make sense, but roll with it...) When I'm out though, I'm usually OUT. Pre-band, I was starting to sleep really bad. I was constantly in pain because I couldn't get comfy on my back or sides. I was always tossing and turning trying to get into a decent position and it never worked. I would always wake up with serious back pain. Not to mention tired as all hell because of the numerous times I would wake up. My children are awesome sleepers (thank GAWD) so I'm very thankful that 99% of the time when I say goodnight to them, I know I won't see their smiley faces until the next morning. Now, if only I could get my DH to stop tickling me in the mornings. You want to talk about pissing me off and putting me in a bad mood. Somehow he got it in his head that if he doesn't tickle me and pester the holy hell out of me, that I won't wake up. I finally had to tell him last Friday that I had had enough and that I'm going to start sleeping with something sharp and I WILL cut him if he doesn't stop. He's lucky he has been good this week and has left me alone because I was only SLIGHTLY joking. :>
2. If I were made into a professor for a day, what would I give my lecture on?
Today's topic class is would women really choose Edward over Jacob, and why?
3. What's a skill that you've wanted that you've never had.
I would really love to learn how to sew. Although I suck at fashion (you've seen bits of my wardrobe), I think sewing home decor would be awesome.
4. Have you ever been in a real catfight?
Emily and I lived one house down from each other from Kinder through 5th grade. If you were to take all that time we spent fighting, I'd say we probably lost a year somewhere in there. She was ALWAYS picking on me. Talk about BULL-LLYY. She was the baby of three and I think she had to learn to fight back. Since I was an easy target, I think she took advantage of that. So ya, we were always fighting. Then this other time, in HS I think it was...no 7th or 8th grade, I was at B's house. There was another girl with us and we were watching a movie in her loft. Her parents were still at work. Well, I had to use the restroom and once I was done I tried to open the door and I couldn't. B thought it would be funny to hold the door and not let me out. Hardy-har-har. The first few minutes I got it. The next 5 I was starting to get pissed. Then after that expletives were flying and I started beating on the door. She lived in a townhouse and wasn't thrilled that the neighbors were probably hearing all the commotion. So of course she started getting angry with me because I wasn't playing nice. BITCH. When she finally let me out, the door flew open and the hair and nails started flying. It was ugly. I broke some nails and she was bleeding. Ugggghhhh. We used to be best friends, and although not as close, we still chat on FB. BITCH. hahahaha
5. Repeat question: Summarize your week in real life and blog land.
Week was pretty typical. I lost 2.5lbs this week, I did reach my goal of selling over $500 of Scentsy this month AND, drumroll please....2 more gals joined my Scentsy team!!! That wasn't so typical, but completely awesome!!!! I was born to be a leader, so Directorship here I come!!!!!!!! As for blog land, I've been better lately. I've posted like three times this week. Where's my cookie?!
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
This photo on the left was taken almost a month before surgery and I have to tell you I was completely shocked to see how big I was. Granted, side shots are never attractive (nor are horizontal stripes, but I digress), I couldn't believe how large I was.
I just had to share. Amazing what losing 60lbs can do to change you.
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
Uggghhhh, so frustrating. I was 204.5 this AM, which means it was 200.5 at DK's office. I just can't get past it!!!!! Maybe I need a slight fill. I've noticed I'm getting hungrier between meals and waking up hungry when I didn't use to be. I'm also starting to think about food again. You know, the thoughts of "ohhh, a ____ sounds really good with a side of _____" I thought I was past that, but I guess not. I tell you, it's a head trip getting past the 200s. Once I get to the 180s, I think the hardest part will be behind me. Lord, just get me to that dang number.
Hmmmm, other happenings.... First things first, I got a new Scentsy recruit today! WOOT WOOT! I'm 2 people short (and a few awesome sale months) of becoming a Director. I'm SOO close!! This weekend was also lucky and I scored some Taylor Swift tickets for my DD's birthday. Correction: Taylor Swift FLOOR seats!!! It's a surprise and she's going to FREAK OUT!! What makes it even more special is that my mom is flying out from CA to join us, so she's really going to love it!! I'm such a good little mommy. ;)
Anyway, so I'm starting to view others larger than me in a strange way. Well, that didn't sound right. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm looking at people I know differently. It's going to sound insane, but it seems like the more I shrink, the larger others are getting. I don't think they are gaining weight, they just appear to be bigger. Has that happened to anyone else?!?! My how your perception changes when you're obese and less obese.
What I'm also noticing about me is my attitude and no-nonsense tells-it-like-it-is mentality. I've always been ballsy, but now I've seemed to grow another pair!! Case in point, I was at Claire's of all places buying some headbands for my DD and her friends. The line was SUPER long & crazy and there appeared to be two lines to checkout. I walked up to the line and I asked a woman if this was the end. She said yes and motioned to the kids that were behind her. I could have sworn she said there was another line 'over there'. So I went 'over there'. As I was waiting for a bit, some Amazon blond teen and her shorter friend came up next to me. I said I was in line. Then they walked away and got in line behind the first lady. Anyway, long story longer, there was only one line. I told the first lady that I was behind her and she mentioned the kids behind her were with her. I said that's fine and I'm right here and I'm glad we're all in agreeance. WELL, the first lady checks out and then I notice Amazon blonde and her friend were behind the first lady. I'm thinking "where the heck did they get off jumping in line when I said I was behind the first lady". So anyway, when it was my turn I walked up. I had 4 headbands. Nothing major. Anyway, as I'm walking up I hear this "Excuse me, THEY are next in line." I'm shocked and look over at her and first lady is referring to Amazon blonde and friend. I said "no they weren't, they just walked up when I was already here" and she said "No, they are with me." I, in all my sassy-ness said "I'm sorry, I'm already here and this will only take a minute." She was shocked and couldn't say anything and I was bracing for it. I kept waiting for the "Excuse me fat bitch, blah blah blah" but you know what, she was speechless!!!!! hahaha Well, it turns out the headbands were mis-marked and not priced at what I thought they would be, so I ended up leaving and not taking them. But, in true T style, I said as I swaggered out "See, now I'm leaving & everyone is happy!"
Ya, I'm a bitch with balls, two pairs actually. :) Oh Lord help the world when I'm 140 and REALLY hawt & sassy!!!! My poor hubby! JK, I'm really sweet, sometimes. ;) I've never been one to be easily intimidated or shy away from confrontation due to my size. I don't see that becoming an issue in my future either!!
Thursday, February 17, 2011
I had this epic post planned for the day that I reach under 200lbs. I really did. It was going to be complete with HUGE fonts, tons of exclaimation points, etc etc... But here it is, like a week of being under 200 and I'm just now telling you about it. Boo.
I guess because I look in the mirror and although somewhat smaller, I'm still fat. Being slightly under 200 when you're 5'1" doesn't change that. I'm not going to get all pissy-missy on ya, and I'm VERY grateful to be under 200 than over 300 like I was heading, I just thought I would feel better-er. Look better-er. Don't get me wrong, I know it's a huge accomplishment. I realize that, it's just hard to get excited about it. The last time I was under 200, it was VERY short lived. It's almost like I don't want to get too attached to that because I'll gain it all back in a few months like I always have. Anyway, it's still hard to believe.
It's almost been 8mo since I was banded. 8mo and 65lbs later. Size 26 to now a size 14/16/18 (ya, I'm all over the place.). I've now lost more weight than I have left to lose to get to my goal of 140. Which means I am more than halfway to my goal. INSANE. Really, freakin CRAZY.
I really need to post some pics. I think blogs with pics are better. lol We had a computer keel over last week and my DH has been working on it. When I'm back in business, I'll be able to post the scary boy shorts and sports bra pics. Brace yourselves people, they aren't for the faint of heart. Shiver. :/
So, I hope everyone had a nice Valentine's. I was spoiled. Surprised with a lunch date, a new Pandora bracelet and a charm, a homemade lobster AND crab leg dinner and roses. After 10+ yrs, he's finally learning. Too bad AF was on her way that evening and I was an irritable beeotch. Oh well, can't win them all. He understood and I think that was the best present of them all.
I've had a few highlights this week. The biggest one is
I'm going to my FIRST Josh Groban concert!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I've loved him from the beginning but have never had the chance to see him in concert (read: never shelled out the money to be in the fanclub that enabled me to first come seating). Yesterday, I bought myself (and P1) tickets and get this.....
16th ROW, BABBYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!! I'm BEYOND excited!!!!!
That is super close to me. Few times in my life have I been closer: the Wiggles when P1 was 3 and we had front row center (a miracle). & NKOTB when I was 14 and I had 7th row (they were playing at Six Flags and no one knew who they were, so total accident!). I digress....
16th ROW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And I didn't have to sell P2 to pay for them either! Life is good!!
The second good thing this week was my mini-Scentsy convention to gear up for Spring. What an amazing meeting. I'm realizing more and more what a fabulous company Scentsy is and I'm VERY fortunate to be a part of that. It's changing my life.
In fact, everything is changing. My body is changing. My mind is changing, and I know it's a good thing.
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
My baby girl has been sick too. She started on Sunday with sudden vomitting. YUCK. She did OK at school on Monday until she got home and proceded to throw up all over the floor. She missed my laptop by mere inches. HORROR!!! Yesterday she was barf-free, so we might be on the upswing. Please please. I can't deal with anymore barf!!
So, as I was saying about the cold. I live in Texas and it's not supposed to deep freeze here. Alas, it is. The officials don't expect us to thaw until Friday. Grrreat. No work for me means no money. :( I'll be damned if I'm going to use all my vacation time the first week of February either. DAMN! So, we shall see what happens. I work for a decent private company and I'm hoping they will make some exceptions for us poor saps with kiddos! Wish me luck!
So the scale has been wonky lately. I'm up a pound, down two, up one, down one. It's all over the place. Yesterday I saw the scale read a glorius 201.5 Nothing like a freakin dangling carrot. Today, I was back up to 203.5 WTF. I had two homemade beef tacos. Guess that's what did it. Darn. Oh well, they were good. After soup for two stinking days (and my BP being up when I went to the dr. btw. Grrrr), I knew that 201.5 wasn't the real deal anyway. I'm SOOO close to One-Derland and now I feel the scale and the scale gods are just messin' with my little brain. So close, yet SO far away!
Hope you all are doing well out in Blogland. I wish some of you were local. I need some friends, some bandster friends to hang out with and especially to work out with. Sigh. :( Until then...... Stay warm and stay healthy!
Sunday, January 23, 2011
Maybe tomorrow I will be greeted with being in One-Derland. Dare to dream. Last week the scale was being a bitch. Down a pound. Up two pounds, down another pound. It didn't want to make up its mind. I was grateful that I ended the week with a two pound loss. Thankfully. I was stressing because if I would have gained, I would have blamed it on the unfill I got recently. I still feel pretty tight though. I'm able to drink fluids easier and I was struggling with that. I still think I need to up my fluids. It would only help with my loss, I'm sure. I used to be so good at drinking it, but the fills have made it more difficult.
Note to self, drink more. Pee more. Period.
Monday, January 17, 2011
Love them to death, but they are starting to get nosey. I guess it's a good thing that some are starting to notice the loss (only took 50 damn pounds...I digress...), but some are starting to ask a lot more questions. They want to know what I'm doing, how long I've been doing "it" and all my tips. There are a handful of overweight folk in my office and seeing me, who was one of the biggest, shrink, has caused a little bit of a stir. OK, maybe that's just my interpretation, but some are starting to ask questions.
My standard answer is 'portion control, high protein, low fat/carb, and exercise. I guess that's partly true, right? I feel horrible lying by omission regardless. I'm just not ready to come clean. Now that I've had some success, I'm dreading the response that goes something like "Oh, I KNEW you must have done something drastic! There's just NO WAY you could have done it on your own." Uhhhh, thanks. KWIM?! I guess I just don't want everyone in my business or to suddenly become the local poster child for the LB. Ya know? I'm probably over-analyzing this, but I dread the questions.
Anyway, maybe I'll change my mind when I've lost more. I don't know how that will change anything, but at least I won't need to think about coming clean until then! Ha!
So, this morning I was greeted with a beautiful 204.5 on the scale. That puts me at 5.5lbs away from being in One-Derland. That is going to be a major day of celebrating, let me tell you! I haven't been 199 since 2002. Seriously, it was only that low for a minute and then I was right back up on a gradual incline. Uugghh. Anyway, I updated my weightloss ticker, despite it being Friday yet, my official weigh-in day. Just seeing that I'm almost halfway to my goal is just freaking awesome to me.
Well, thanks for listening. I need to put in a Scentsy order, so I better get going!! Speaking of which, can I see a show of hands of those who have never heard or experienced the greatness that is Scentsy?!?! I'm just curious. A poll, if you will! THANKS!!! And if you're so inclined, please check it out! www.TrinScents.Scentsy.us I'm looking for a few great ladies to join my team!! ;)
Sunday, January 16, 2011
I know, it's been a little bit and I hope you're all well.
This is probably going to be long, so consider yourself warned!
So, thanks for the well-wishes to my brother! I'm happy to report that he's doing awesome and adjusting to his new lifestyle perfectly. I'm even more proud to tell you all that since 12/22/10 he's lost 30lbs! Bastard. hahaha JK! I'm proud of him and trying to convince myself to be happy at my accomplishments when he blows past my 50lbs+ loss in no time.
So I've got a new follower! Howdy, new follower! :)
I'm doing pretty well. I went to see DK on Thursday and I've lost 13lbs since 12/3/10. I can take that! This morning the scale read 205. I'm 6 lbs away from ONE-DERLAND!!! Insane!! It's a goal to be 199 by 2/1. I think I can, I think I can.
I was having some issues and I don't think I talked about it on here. I think it's worth noting.
I've been having RAGING reflux. Like waking up in the middle of the night choking on acid, reflux. OUCH and DISGUSTING. No matter what I ate, or what time I ate, it was horrible. it had been going on for about 3wks and not getting any better. I was eating Tums like they were going out of style and nothing was helping. I was also having a HORRIBLE throat belching problem. Like a bubble/gurgle (my DH affectionately referred to it as my "burgle from my gullet". How sweet, eh?!) that would never come all the way up. So embarrassing that even a few friends noticed it was happening a lot.
I was scared to go see DK though. I was terrified of an unfill. In my brain, and from a friend that I personally know who suffered from reflux, getting an unfill equals weight gain to me. My appt was even scheduled for the week before, but I postponed it a week to see if I could get it under control before I opted for the unfill.
When I went to see DK on Thursday, he said EJ looks great (yippy!), but that he probably thought I was a tad too tight and that was causing the gurgle and the reflux. So yep, an unfill was my best bet at relief. I was really dreading it, but now I'm happy I did it. I was at a 6.3cc in a 10cc band, and they took at .2, so I'm at a 6.1cc and it's AWESOME. I'm still pretty tight, but the reflux and gurgle were gone after one day. It's AMAZING what that slight unfill did. It's only been a few days, but I haven't noticed a change in my appetite, so I'm hoping I will continue to lose. I have a goal to get to remember!
Hmmmm, so what else. Oh good grief. Got some interesting news. My baby brother (not M) is going to be a dad. He knocked up his girlfriend. They are both 23 and have no plans for marriage. I love my brother, but he's really EFFED up this time. They both have zero education, zero stability, etc etc... I was beyond pissed when I found out, but I've come to learn and accept that some people just need to learn the hardway. I hope and pray it works out for them and they do what's right for that child. I'm also VERY thankful I live out of state so I'm away from the drama that will probably occur when it's D-day and beyond. Uggghhhh.
I've learned, well I've known this for awhile, what my hot button issue is... people who have multiple children without the means to support them and think it's quite alright to get pregnant and let 'the system' support them and their children. I can't begin to tell you how much that pisses me off.
I'm a working mom. I've planned my kids accordingly, and I bust my ass to provide for my family...and yet there are these women who think 'it's OK if I have another baby, I'll just get on Medicaid, or Wic, or whatever public assistance is offered in my area." What makes me even MORE angry is when these 'holier than thou SAHMs look down on me because I'm a working mom and how dare I let "someone else raise my children." How is it Ok that you let the government FEED your kids and yet I'M the 'lesser mom' because I work?! Uuugghhhh. See, hot button issue for me. Why am I talking about this? My brother's girlfriend, who was let go from her job for whatever reason and is now getting unemployment, decided that since she's expecting she will just get on public assistance for her and the baby. Not work, not even TRY to find a job. That REALLY tap-danced on my already irate last nerve!!! Public assistance should be available for people who are really trying to do the right thing, but have come on hard times. NOT for those that are too lazy to get off their damn asses and better their lives for their children. If you are perfectly abled, in body and mind, than there is absolutely NO FREAKIN' reason why you shouldn't be working to support your UN-PLANNED children!!!!!!!! ARRGGGHH.
I'll step off my soapbox. ;) I guess that was two hot topics for me. SAHMs vs. Working moms (you don't want to get me going off on this one either!), and the whole public assistance for unplanned pregnancies. In this day and age, there is absolutely NO EXCUSE for unplanned pregnancies (well, with the exception of rape and abuse, but you know what I mean). OK, NOW I'm stepping off the soapbox!
Hmmm, what else can I bitch about?
My clothes are getting so big. I've gotten to the point that most of my wardrobe is way too big for me, and it's so aggrivating when I'm wearing a shirt or jeans that are too big on me and just hang on me. For instance, my DD and I went to JCP a week ago. I wanted to try on some clothes just to do a size check. It was snowing outside, so I just threw on some jeans, a shirt and a heavy coat. When I grabbed some clothes to try on and I looked at myself in the mirror I was disgusted. I looked like a frumpy, dis-shelved mess. My clothes were H.U.G.E. on me. Had I not had that jacket on to hide behind, I would have gone home to change. It was that bad. What an odd sensation. Upset that my clothes were too big on me. hahahah. It's the little things. You know, I could swear my earrings are fitting looser on me. Isn't that crazy talk?! Yesterday I was doing something and my ear was pressed against the side of my head and the back of my earring really poked the heck out of me. I was thinking "I don't remember the post being that long before!". Keep in mind, these are earrings that I wear 24/7. It was odd that I never noticed the posts being that long, but then I thought I wonder if my ears are shrinking too?!?! hahaha
I will say that it made me happy to wear an 18 in pants and a 14/16, XL in shirts and apparently the ears are getting smaller too! ;)
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
Hi Bro, it's your older, wiser, and now thinner GORGEOUS Sister!! bwahahahah It's the eve of your lap band surgery and I can't tell you how excited I am for you to have this life-changing event and be on your way to a healthier you.
It's a tough road, and you'll have your good days and bad days, but in general, your only regret will be that you didn't do this for yourself sooner.
Remember the three things I told you about and remember to ask your staff when you get to the hospital in the morning:
1. Where the EFF is your pain medicine!!!!!!!!?!?!? :)
2. Bring your Carmex. You will get chappy-lipskin-disease from the breathing tube, so apply when you can in post-op!
3. Walk Walk Walk, soon after you get home to get that gas out of you. Trust me, you will feel SOOOO much better and you might get lucky and escape the gas pain/shoulder pain post-op.
One more thing, follow your post-op instructions!! They are there for a reason! Oh, and most importantly, do what I say, don't do what I do!!!!!!!!! (especially if you go back and read this blog from the beginning!! hahahaha).
Love you bunches and we will ALL be praying for you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Everyone in Band-Land, please welcome the newest member to the family, M!!