Days since Band and I became One

My Scale

Tuesday, August 24, 2010


That sums up my mood these last few days. Insert your favorite expletives up there.

I'm failing at this. Another failed attempt at weightloss. It's been almost 2 months and I haven't lost squat.

I have no one to blame but myself. I don't exercise, then eat like crap. I do exercise, and still eat like crap. I haven't changed anything. I still eat fastfood. Then I feel guilty, then remorseful, then pissed off, then I say Eff it and do it all over again.

What is my problem?!?! Afraid of success?? Determined to stay fat???

Damn why does this have to be so hard?? Why do I always compare myself to others?? Meaning, those others who were banded at the same time and have lost 30lbs or more!!!! Why am I stuck at virtually Effin ZERO??????

Oh right. Fast food crap. Not moving daily. Not watching my portions. Eating easily 8oz of steak, a baked potato with sour cream and an artichoke with margarine (last nights dinner) and not even think twice. The other night (fri) I did a 2hr workout. 55min at a dance class called Hustle (that kicked my ass) followed by a mile walk on the treadmill and then some weight machines. Sounds great, until I went to Chipotle on Sunday and ate the entire burrito bowl (with a tortilla ) in two sittings! I shouldn't be able to eat that, right?!?!?

I go in tomorrow for another fill and I hope he clamps the damn thing. Short of wiring my damn mouth shut, something else drastic needs to happen.


  1. You are NOT a failure. This is totally normal! NORMAL! You are normal.

    I know I've told you 100 times, but I flailed around until about 4-5 months after surgery, when I finally hit restriction.

    Try making some small changes and setting very realistic goals. You sound so much like me - all or nothing. 2 hours of exercise or nothing. Maybe try committing on a weekly basis instead of daily - so you are going to do 3 hours of exercise per week. It can be two 1.5 hour workouts or four 45-min workouts. Maybe tell yourself only fast food 3x this week, 2x next week, and so on. Small changes will add up, and when you get real restriction, you will be amazed at the changes!

    Hang in there - I promise, it does get better!

  2. I can't really say it better than Amy, but please don't be so down on yourself. The band isn't a tool until you get restriction. I'm sure feeling like you are a failure just makes you want to eat more. Hopefully you can talk to your physician about your issues and get the help you need. XO

  3. Oh, I'm so sorry you're not at restriction yet!
    I would say... "Go back to basics"!! Get out all the paperwork your doc/nutritionist gave you & if you have to, write it out by hand and stick copies up at danger zones!!

    As for the fast food... Think of your top 3 favs... now go to google and search "effects of XXXX" put in your brand. If scare tactics work on you, so will all the preservatives, additives and carcinogens that are used in junk food :)
    Good Luck.. I know you'll get through it !

  4. Thanks everyone. I really appreciate the comments. :)

    My blog is starting to give even me whiplash due to the highs (errr, not really) and lows I've been feeling since the placement of the band....

    Before I write a book here..think I'll just blog.

    Thanks again, ladies. Your words do mean so much to me!