That sums up my mood these last few days. Insert your favorite expletives up there.
I'm failing at this. Another failed attempt at weightloss. It's been almost 2 months and I haven't lost squat.
I have no one to blame but myself. I don't exercise, then eat like crap. I do exercise, and still eat like crap. I haven't changed anything. I still eat fastfood. Then I feel guilty, then remorseful, then pissed off, then I say Eff it and do it all over again.
What is my problem?!?! Afraid of success?? Determined to stay fat???
Damn why does this have to be so hard?? Why do I always compare myself to others?? Meaning, those others who were banded at the same time and have lost 30lbs or more!!!! Why am I stuck at virtually Effin ZERO??????
Oh right. Fast food crap. Not moving daily. Not watching my portions. Eating easily 8oz of steak, a baked potato with sour cream and an artichoke with margarine (last nights dinner) and not even think twice. The other night (fri) I did a 2hr workout. 55min at a dance class called Hustle (that kicked my ass) followed by a mile walk on the treadmill and then some weight machines. Sounds great, until I went to Chipotle on Sunday and ate the entire burrito bowl (with a tortilla ) in two sittings! I shouldn't be able to eat that, right?!?!?
I go in tomorrow for another fill and I hope he clamps the damn thing. Short of wiring my damn mouth shut, something else drastic needs to happen.