Diarrhea of the Mouth

I'm horrible at keeping huge secrets from my family.

I told my mom, very casually, that I was thinking about getting the LB. Then, on the day I got approved, I told her about it. I couldn't keep it in!!!! Then my grandparents flew in from CA and they came to stay with us for a few days and I shared it with them. THEN, yesterday we went out to celebrate my birthday. My in laws were there and I told them too. Everyone seems to be supportive of my decision, but do I really think they would tell me if they disapproved?! Especially, when it's BLANTALY obvious I wouldn't be doing it if I didn't have the need. KWIM?!

So that's that. I told them and I'm getting more support, so it's all good.

I can't believe that by Christmas, I could be down at least 40lbs. That thought blows my mind. I will be close to the 100s!!!!!! WOWZA!!!!!!!!!!! Until then....

I hope everyone takes a minute to reflect on the service men and women who have made (and are making) the ultimate sacrifice for our freedom. :) Have a great Memorial Day and be safe, everyone. :)

Best Birthday EVER!!!!

Yesterday was my birthday! My 6th annual 29th birthday! It's scary to be so close to 30... Cough cough..,,

It was a great day. Hubby took me out to lunch and surprised me with a new Coach bag! Yae! Then, after a scorching nights sleep with no AC, I was greeted with two things when I got home; a cool house AND another Coach bag from my girls!!! YES, he was able to fix it!!!!! Love him!!! And to think I doubted him! (he got lucky!)

Since I have a cold, I didn't feel like going out to dinner. Besides, we are celebrating on Sat with family. Anyway, so I crashed kind of early.

Then this morning, while driving to work, I got the call. Thee CALL!!!

I'm APPROVED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm getting my band on June 29th!!!!!!!! Yae!!!!! I'm so excited!!!!!! Nervous still, but excited too!!!

So, it was a day late, but I'm still counting the approval as a birthday present! The best one!! :).

It's hot in here and I'm sick...Happy Birthday Eve to me!

Our AC unit crapped the bed last night. :( I'm in Texas. It's hot. Damn hot. It's not mid-August hot, but it's getting there.

My DH tried to fix it last night, but there wasn't much he could do in the dark. Then today he was taking the unit apart and playing Mr. Fix It and trying to get it working again. No such luck. Oh, but he's not done with it yet. Oh no silly goat, DH thinks he can still get it working anyway.

Ya, the repair guy is scheduled to come on Friday. Shhhhh, don't say anything. ;)

On Monday I woke up with a scratchy throat. Right now the girls and I are a little congested and my throat hurts. Lovely. Tomorrow it's my bday so what a way to be! Hot, miserable, and sick. YIPPY. But I did make it another year!

Holy CRAP!!!

I should know within the week if I've been approved or not!!! OMG.

I just called the dr's office and she said she just submitted it yesterday and she said they should hear back before the end of the week. WOWZA!!!!!! She said she will call me.

So, alas we are still waiting... But there is a light
If you squint you can see it. :)

LOST, WTF?

I'm waiting for Kimmel to come on. I need some answers straight from the horses' mouth.

I'm still lost. If you haven't watched it yet, leave now because this WILL contain spoilers.




So, as I was saying.... still lost.

OK. So they are all dead. The original Oceanic 815 passengers were killed on that flight. So, they were in limbo. Trying to right their wrongs before they could 'move on'. So, everything concerning the island, the mysteries of the island, the Dharma Initiative, the numbers, Ben, Widmore, Richard, Daniel, etc... were just random people/things that really didn't have any major significance to the main players in the story?! See, I'm lost. Still.

OK. My questions are:
Where the heck was Michael and Walt?! It was nice to see Vincent, but where were Michael and Walt? They were original 815 passengers. WTH?!

Also, wasn't Ana Lucia and Libby on the flight too? They were Tailies, right? They should have been in that room too, wouldn't you think??

Why was Penny in the room with Desmond?? Did she just die recently and that's why she was in there??

OK, remember in last weeks episode when Hurley and Desmond broke free along with Kate & Sayid, why did Hugo ask Desmond "Is Ana Lucia coming?" and Desmond said "No, she's not ready yet." Does that mean she was dead then too, but parading around as a cop, trying to tie up her loose ends??

Was everything in their sideways flashes totally true??

I noticed some inconsistencies in the finale. For one, Ben. He's crushed by a tree and everyone is trying to free him. A few minutes go by and who shows up after the duel between Locke & Jack? Why, it's Ben Linus without a scratch on him!! Oh ya, and the storm that was wreaking havoc and dropping buckets of rain just ended too. Must be in Texas! hahaha jk

The other flub I noticed was when Kate and Sawyer jumped off the cliff towards Locke's boat, the suddenly end up on the shore swimming toward Clair. Ummmmm what happened to your plan to get on the boat??? I don't get it. Well, the commercials are saying there were a few alternate endings, so I wonder if those flubs would have made better sense with a different ending. Let's hope.

I LOVED the scene with Sayid reuniting with Shannon. I literally got chills when she looked up at him and he saw the flashes that reminded him of who she was. Then, when Clair gave birth, again, to Aaron. I was crying right along with her & Kate. It was a beautiful scene.

Now when Jack opened the coffin, I expected him to see himself in there. Odd that he wasn't. Anyway....

Well, I'm going to watch Jimmy Kimmel and hope it sheds some light on what that ending was REALLY supposed to mean.

LOST, goodbye my sweet...sniff sniff

In approximately one hour and fifteen minutes, LOST will start. The beginning of the end of the show. I'm sad. Since the summer of 2004 (yes, summer since I missed the first season since it was agaist American Idol and I couldn't miss MY AI. Don't fret, I got the first season on DVD and caught up that summer), LOST has captured my attention every Tuesday, then Wednesday, then Tuesdays again ever since. What am I going to do now that it's over??

So how do you think it will end???

Is Jacob evil?
Is the MIB the evil one?
Is this all inside Locke's imagination?
Is it a dream??
Are they all dead and in a sort of purgatory, trying to somehow make up for their awful lives they were living in the past (err, sideways)??


I think the end is going to show us that the key players are really Desmond and Penny. I don't know exactly how, but they both are going to be pivotal to how it ends.

I just hope that it answers some of the main questions we've been asking for quite some time now:

What is MIB's real name?
Why is it that only Hurley sees dead people?
Where is Penny?
Is Sayid really dead?
Same with Sun & Jin?
What do the freaking numbers mean?? (I think it was just their seat numbers on the plane. The first time)
Where is Michael and Walt?
How did Jacob get off the island (to touch each of the other candidates)when he was SO against his brother for even thinking about trying to get off the island?

I know there are more, but those are just some of them!

I'll certainly miss my eye candy every week. James 'Sawyer' Ford. Prrrrrr. :) I'm also going to miss Ben's beady little eyes, coniving and sneaky persona, and his menancing voice. Such a great actor he is!

Anyway, well thank you to JJ Abrahms, the writers, and all of the cast for everything!! It's been a WONDERFUL RIDE, even though I was lost & confused most of the time!! :)

Merging of the blogs?!?

Oh, before I start my post!! I'm so excited!!! I have
followers!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YAE!!!!!!!!!!!! Thanks everyone!!!


OK, I have two blogs. The mom-blog that I started just over a year ago where I post all of my braggy pics of my family and lament over my mommy-moments. Oh, and where I bitch about my inlaws. haha (they don't know I write one) I would complain about my mom too, but she reads that one and I haven't thought to bring her up over here...yet. She doesn't know about this one, so I'm censor free over here. haha

Then there is this blog. The Band Blog. The 'T is fat and she's now doing something about it' blog.

I'm thinking about merging the two (even though I don't know if I can even do it). It's difficult keep up two blogs. I don't know if my mommy friends (skinny bitches, most of them!) want to read about my weight loss, and then I don't know if my fellow (soon to be) banders want to read about how cute my little girl looked today chasing her new kitten. Oh dilemma. :)

Maybe I will once I get the surgery. It will be a huge life change and I'll want to share the news with everyone once I start looking better. Hmmmm, anyway....until next time!

Fat= Younger Looking Me?

As I'm sitting here reading other blogs of other bandees, I've noticed a few things. Some women look much older in their after pics (thin) then in their before (fat) pics and it makes me a little nervous. I'm no spring chicken. In fact, a week from today, I will be 35. GASP. CHOKE. COUGH. (but it's really my 6th annual 29th Birthday, shhhh, don't tell anyone!)

Back to the equation. I know a fat face smoothes out the wrinkles and right now, I'm doing pretty well in that dept...but alas, I am fat. WHAT THE FREAK IS HIDING UNDER THIS FAT?!?!?! That, my friends, is what I'm kind of scared to discover. Now don't get me wrong, I'm not going to use this as even the slightest reason to talk myself out of the LB, oh no no no, there is no turning back now. This IS happening. I'm just wondering if I'm going to look like a old, skinny hag once the fat has melted away. Uggghhhh.

It doesn't help when I read the blogs of the young 20-something bitches who are now thin and hot little Iddy-Biddy-Boobie-Barbies (my old term for skinny Bs! You heard it here first!) I'm not going to look like them either.

Maybe I'm having a midlife crisis as I approach 35. Maybe I just need to buy a sportscar and get a trophy wife and be done with it. haha Or maybe I'll just have to see about Botox. LOL

On a side note....I'm still waiting on my approval. Haven't heard anything yet, but it hasn't even been a week yet. Next week is when I will start getting nervous.

Nigh Night!! :)

Getting Nervous, Mourning Food

I think it's really starting to hit me. 'IT' being the drastic change that I'm about to willingly do to myself. To my body. To my family. Life, as I know it, will be no longer and quite frankly, that scares the pee outta me!!!

Now I know this current life has me on the fasttrack to a heart attack and/or premature death anyway, but I can't help but feel really scared, nervous, and sad for this life I'm about (hopefully) to stop.

Scared.

I'm scared I'm going to regret the surgery right afterwards. I'm going to cry. I know I will. I will have the least bit of uncomfortableness, or pain, and I will cry and feel sorry for myself and hate myself for doing this. I KNOW I will. Even though I know, DEEEEEEEEPPPPPP DOWN, I know that it's the best thing I can do for myself (and my family), I know I'm going to feel regret and remorse for my 'old' life.

Nervous.

This is nothing new. I'm nervous that this, the end all be all of weightloss tools,will also fail me. I'm nervous that I will be the one loser in 2010 that gained weight on the LB instead of losing it.

Sad.

Goodbye good (read: BAD) food. Goodbye fastfood. Goodbye white bread. Goodbye donuts. Goodbye junkfood. Goodbye my full plate of Chili Colorado from Mi Ranchito in CA where I spent many o' Friday nights with my family enjoying their awesome mexican food. Ya, I know I don't live in CA anymore....but when I go home, I make sure to eat at my fave places. I love food. My DH and I are 'foodies'. We love trying new places and aren't afraid to drop a pretty penny on a decent meal.

You all just need to ignore me. I'm just thinking out loud and thinking of all the things I'm going to miss. This blog really has me soul-searching and I'm learning that food is running AND ruining my life. So, as much as I might cry, bitch, whine, mourn, and feel pathetic and sorry for myself....I'm praying it will all disappear when I see the weight start to fall off.

Thanks for listening. :/

And now we wait

I finally got the OK letter from the PCP to the Surgeon and now we wait. The billing chick at the surgeon's office said she was waiting for the notes from the dietician (who works in the same office) and then she will be able to present the entire packet to the insurance. So now we wait.

Trying to be patient.

Hmmm, what else is happening? OH, my brother might be getting the LB too. He's younger than me and unlike me, he hasn't been heavy all of his life. In fact, HE (and my sperm donor, AKA father) used to tease me about my weight when I was a kid. My how the tables have turned. I don't hold a grudge against him. I called him stupid since he had a learning disability, but I can recognize now that we were both kids and I think he's forgiven me. I sure have him.

So, ya, he's put on quite the pounds since he's been married. He's on blood pressure meds, has sleep apnea, and is seeing a cardiologist. He is 30, much too young to have that many problems (hmmm, where have I heard that before?!) I've been casually talking to him about my interest in the surgery and I think he's starting to think it would be best for him too. In fact, I talked to him last night and he said he has the same insurance as me and he's seeing right now if they will cover it.

I think it would be AWESOME to share this experience with my brother. Through the years we haven't been exactly close, but I think this might bridge that gap. We don't live in the same state, but I think we both could help each other through it.

So, that's that. OH, I also want to send a shoutout to my friend Mo! She had her surgery on Tuesday and when I talked to her yesterday (for the first time! We *met* online) she sounded to be recovering nicely. She lives really close to me and sees the same doctor! You can bet I will be stalking her like a cat watching a mouse!! No pressure, Mo!! :) This town better watch out when we're two thin & HAWT mamas!! haha

What is going on???

OK, this isn't band related, kind of.

Everytime I log into this blog, I swear my password changes!!!!!!! WTF?!?!?! I have a few pwords that I use randomly for various sites. Since I've had this blog I've noticed that about 50% of the time when I enter my password, it tells me it's the wrong one. OK, silly me. I think I know what it is and I enter and voila! I'm in. Well, it says that I'm wrong a lot. So last time I made a reference to something that I KNEW I wouldn't forget, and associated it with my password. Well, guess what?! When I entered it just now...IT'S WRONG!! I don't know what is going on, but now I KNOW I'm not crazy. Just irritated. Grrrrr

3D movies, Smart Phones, the Kindle and then there are Fax Machines

With all of the amazing technology that is available to those of us with poseable thumbs in the year 2010, you would think someone would make a freakin' fax machine foolproof.

When dealing with dr's staff, how many times have you heard "you didn't get it? I faxed it about 20 minutes ago."

Now either they are:
A. Full of sh*t and they know they forgot to fax it, but are trying to CTA so they lie about it, or they did fax it but didn't wait for the confirmation and it didn't go through, OR it did get faxed, but somebody on the other end 'misplaced' it. Either way, you would think that with all of our modern technology, SOMEBODY would make the dang fax machine error-proof.

Yes, I'm frustrated. I got a call from the LB Dr's office and they said they finally got my pysch eval, but not the letter they need from my PCP. So I called my PCP and left a message. That was on Friday. On Monday afternoon, I get a call from the PCP who called to tell me my lab results and say that they faxed the letter to the LB dr. OR SO THEY SAID.

So, this AM I called the LB Dr and wanted to verify they received it. Take a wild guess. NOPE, they didn't get the fax. Frustrated, but still pleasant, I called my PCP again and of course had to leave a message. Did I receive a call back today? Of course not. So again, I will make the calls to both and see if someone can give me a freakin answer. SOOOOOO aggravating.

Thanks for listening to me rant.

Pic Post, Here is me

Here is a little montage of me. Roughly the difference from March 2009 to March 2010. Interesting that I looked thinner when I was 8mo pregnant than I do not pregnant. See, I told you I was one of those weird people that lose weight during a pregnancy and right after giving birth....but then it ALWAYS finds me.

Anyway, here ya go. Oh, those two girls with me are my beautiful teen cousins. I don't compare myself to them usually, but it just occured to me that if, I mean WHEN, I lose the weight, that is pretty much what I might look like less 100lbs or so. Not too shabby, if I do say so myself. ;)

Damn You Big Brother

Sorry it's been a while since I've updated my blog. I normally do it from work (teehee) except when I came in on Tuesday, I found that 'blogs and personal sites' have been blocked. WTF!?! (Anyone know how to get around Websense??? leave me a comment!) So of course I can't go and complain that my site is blocked, now can I?! So I have to just deal with it, I suppose. It sucks. I'm on the PC all day at work and when I get home for the night, the last thing I want to do is surf the net. Don't those silly corporate head honchos know that that's what work is for?!?! Sheesh.

Anyway, so it's Mom's Day eve and my big girl and DH are out shopping. So typical, but at least it gave me some quality time with P2, and I get to update my neglected blog.

On a band note, I had the visit with my PCP on Thursday. This was the visit to get my "OK for surgery" letter from him. Here's how it went.

Dr: So you're finally getting the lapband.
Me: (errr, that was kinda rude) Yes, I'm hoping to.
Dr. So, what do you need from me?
Me: Ummm, I'm not sure. Just a letter saying that I'm clear for surgery, I think.
Dr. Oh, is that it?
Me: Yes, I think so.
Dr. Well, do they need an EKG or some labs?
Me: (getting irritated at this point) I don't know, maybe you should call their office and ask what it is they need done exactly.
Dr. OK, let me see if I can get them on the phone.

I'm thinking, HELLOOOOO McFly!!!!!!!! You're the damn doctor, FIGURE IT OUT!!!!!!

Then he leaves. Comes back a few minutes later and says, "we'll just get some labs on you to make sure everything is within normal range." Ummmmmm, OK.

So once that is done he comes back in and says that's it and mentions that his staff will get on the letter. Now I'm waiting. Yesterday, I called the surgeon's office to see if they had received that note. Nope, not yet. They hadn't rec'd my shrink eval either, so I called my PCP again and left a message. Of course since it was a Friday, no one returned my call.

Now I'm waiting, AGAIN. No one told me this whole band thing is a 'hurry up and wait' game. Patience is a virtue I was absenst the day it was handed out. :)

On a good note, I went to Old Navy today and bought a cute pair of lounge shorts with a cute little tank top. Right now, I don't even know if it will fit my ass (it's an XL), but I think I will use it as a point of reference outfit. Maybe I will try to squeeze my hiney into it, take a pic in all my fat glory, and just hold onto it until I start to look better it in and then post a before and after.

To all the moms out there, I wish every one of you a beautiful Mother's Day with your family!

Surgeon's office called

So my surgeon's office called yesterday to let me know they didn't have my pysch eval or my clearance for surgery letter from my pcp. Grrrrr

The letter: The day after my first consult with the surgeon (Dr.D from now on), I called my pcp (Dr. G) to have them send that letter over to Dr. D's office. Well, Dr. G's nurse said that Dr.D's staff would need to contact them in order to get that letter. Grrr. I called Dr.D's office and left a message for them and I never heard from her again. Well, she's the same one that called yesterday so I informed her that I tried to get that letter but Dr.G's office was waiting on her. Grrrr

She said she would call them. (twiddles thumbs)

Dr.D's also asked if I had my pysch eval and I said yes, and she said she would call Dr.M for that.

SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, I'm hoping she got all of that sorted out so she can hurry up and submit to my insurance. Doesn't she know I'm ready to be thin???????????

I bought two things yesterday, for the future me. I bought them on clearance! A form fitting sleep shirt, a size large & a tight little black sweater, again a large!!! I'm hoping by December I will be able to wear both of them and not look like a stuffed sausage!! :)

Speaking of which...we had a few family pics taken at my DD's birthday party and BLAH is all I have to say. :(

Busy Busy Busy

Sorry I haven't updated in a while. My DD had her first birthday party this weekend and we've been super busy! I can't believe my baby is ONE!! Seems like just yesterday I was pregnant with her and now she's a year old!! My, time does fly once you have children.

Anyway....so last Friday I had my visit with the dietician. That was one hour of my life I will never get back. There were 4 women and myself, plus one man in the class. One lady was having the full bypass, one lady was getting the sleeve, and the rest of us were getting banded (hopefully!). I found it interesting that was only one man there. Is weight loss surgery patients prodominately women?? I wonder why that is? Interesting what that says about our society, if it's true.

So about the class. We were given a booklet with a rough outline of what we're supposed to be eating post op. That was it. He gave a little speech about the importance of eating slowly, choosing proteins over carbs, etc... Nothing new really. One lady asked about the vitamins we should take and it wasn't anything out of the norm. Multi vitamin, D with calcium, and B12. Maybe iron if we need it, but we won't know until after the surgery and they take labs. Anyway, it was kind of a waste of time, but it was another hoop and I gladly jumped through it!